About this weekend

So, on twitter there was a disagreement of sorts. And though my opinion might no matter, I still wanted to share it.
All the podcast that I listen to, all the people I follow, I don't know them in real life. I have always been surrounded by white people, save a few family members. I went to all white schools, lived in all white neighborhoods, worked all white jobs... I have always been the magical negro everywhere I went. So this argument amongst people that I share a common interest with scared me because I don't know them. And they don't know me. And I often forget that as much as I think I know these folks, we are not close. We don't have that much in common. And all over again, I felt like I was put on the outside of the room. I know it's really selfish, but it is the best way I can bring this to light. I hope that if I am being bothersome, I will be contacted. But again, maybe not. And because of that I kind of want to seclude myself from the only interaction that I have with people like me. Because sometimes, hash tags are not JUST hash tags, lack of journalistic integrity is more than just an over site. Sometime, your fuck up fucks up someone else's sanity. So,  journalists everywhere: if you could please do your job right the first time, that would be stellar, thanks.

May 16th

I want to rip my skin off. Start from the base of skull. Take off my scalp, my nose. Then I will rip my throat open, peeling back the skin covering my sternum, my stomach. Then pry open my wrists to expose the remainder of my arms. Lastly, I will break open my heels and make quick work of my legs. Maybe if I were more exposed I may seem breakable.

May 5th

To the Beckys and Brads who say fuck common sense and black feelings

It is not a paper towel,
Nor is it a tissue.
I am not a painting in a museum
Nor am I a sheep in a petting zoo.
My strands are not down for a pillow.
It is my hair.
That grows from my scalp.
For you to treat it any other way
Is Disrespectful

The brown expanse that stretches over fat, muscle, and bone
Is not chocolate
You will not eat it
Or lick it
Or caress it.
WE are not lovers
My skin, for everything it holds in, the cracks and bumps it showcases, is not for your consumption
For you to act any other way
Is Ridiculous

My eyes have seen a lot
My mind has endured so much
I have so much more personal growth in my path.
I do not have time to facilitate your personal growth as well.
Just because you didn't learn it in school, or you forgot
Does not mean it is my job to elevate you.
I am no ones mother, or Mamie. 
I have nieces and nephews to elevate before I even consider helping you.
We are adults
And just because your privilege keeps you sheltered, does not mean I am out of pocket when I tell you you are wrong.
For you to act any other way
Is Insulting.

Personally, I am done.
I have no more patience to devote to the cause of comforting Caucasians. Today, I start looking out for number one. This is your warning.

May 5th

To Black Podcasters

Thank you.
For being unapologetically individual in a cohesive unit.
For being political and nerdy.
For encouraging your listeners to be in apologetically themselves
For creating a safe space and interacting with your listeners.

If I could make one request, it will be for your happiness.
I may speak for myself, but your continued enthusiasm for life makes me want to fight for one more day.
For my race,
For my gender,
And for myself.
So thank you.