It is unnerving how normal it is.

So the other day my mom and my sister were talking about how I am jobless and take no initiative. In this conversation my mother mentioned that had we been in Liberia, she would have had me raped. I said nothing. It is statements like these that make it hard for me to get along with any of my family members from the West African region. This is not the first time that my mother said something of this caliber or that my sister has gotten angry enough with me that this statement was just let loose to fly. It is ESPECIALLY galling considering that all of us are sexual assault survivors in some form. The fact that my mother, of all people would even consider such actions and then (in the same breathe) state that she loves me? Wut??
I just don't understand how frustrated a loving family member has to be to wish for a time and place that orchestrating the trauma of a family is an option. Is this how normal rape is in the African community? Is this really what we want to pass down to our kids? I for one do not and if it means that I have to tie my tubes then so be it. But this is not something that can be allowed to prosper.

Full

You don't know me. You have never allowed the space to get to know me. I have let you all back me into a corner and I am over it. I am done. You don't get to make me cry anymore. You don't get to hurt me. You no longer deserve my obedience. You have earned my anger. I am done.

Favorite aunties

I am a terrible person, right? You never spread anyone's business, huh? The best of your father's children? You are a spiteful, rancid little woman who can't keep it together for your kids. You wanna know why people avoid you? It is not because you are truthful. Any child can be truthful. Everyone avoids you because all of the shit you point out in others is what you project. So please, check thyself.

My second mother? Really?  You ain't my second shit! How. DARE you feel entitled to any part of my psyche. Just like your father? You are closer to your mother.  Refusing to get old, even though we all see it. Getting your hands in everyone's business without offering assistance.  Meddling with careful plans just to say you had a part in it. Please ma'am,  sit down.

You bush.....you know what? I don't blame you. We don't know each other and I thrust myself upon you. I tried to fight for someone who appreciates the status quo. Like your daddy? Nah, try again. But honestly, I hope you get what you deserve in the end.